Saturday, May 25, 2013

strictly for prog zealots: Cynthesis: "ReEvolution"

strictly, exclusively for the devoted to prog metal:
Cynthesis: "ReEvolution"
Cynthesis is a traditional prog metal band. Traditional singing, clear production, and intelligible guitar. They appear to sound harmless enough.
Then reality sets in: This band will chew you up and spit you out if you want something to sing along to, something to rock, something to move to. Instead, this band demands that, if you make the decision to listen to this music, you have to listen carefully. Their record company has a motto that says "thinking man's music." Well, they should change the "man" to "person" because it's not only men that listen to this music. Anyway, yes, it is "thinking person's music" because if you do not have the endurance or patience for spacey,instrumentalicious prog, meandering segments, and yes, also "music for musicians," then this will be very, very, very boring.
Cynthesis has an IQ test for you. It is this album.
Cynthesis has found the "book of heavy metal" and decided to set it on fire, and re-burned the ashes and flushed them down the toilet.
I have listened to this album, and I'm dizzy, I need my medication, because I am 83 years old and I cannot fall down again and break my hip once more. I already fell down the stairs and broke my foot.
Cynthesis, if I get injured again, it is your fault, you mofos.
If you read philosophy books for fun, you do calculus as a hobby, you love classical music, you like metal bands that people say are "boring" and have songs that are "too long," you like bands that are called "wankers" and things like that.
Cynthesis is for you.
Cynthesis is quite an elitist little bunch of musical demons. They appear so normal.
They are wicked smart.

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