review: The Neptune Power Federation

The Neptune Power Federation

Memoirs of a Rat Queen

Cruz Del Sur Music

27 September 2019

01 Can You Dig 2:47

02 Watch Our Masters Bleed 5:44

03 Flying Incendiary Club For Subjugating Demons 4:49

04 Rat Queen 5:57

05 Bound For Hell 3:37

06 I'll Make A Man Out Of You 4:47

07 Pagan Inclinations 4:38

08 The Reaper Comes For Thee 5:44

“Attention all planets of the solar federation, we have assumed control.” The Neptune Power Federation has assumed control of the theatrical heavy metal spaceship that is the vehicle to take you back to the 1970s and keep you there. Picture, if you will, the hard rocking heavy rock of the 1970s, more or less, some cowbell, with some space rock atmosphere, some handclapping, some more cowbell (“I’ll be honest, fellas, it was sounding great, but I could have used a little more cowbell. I’m telling you, fellas, you’re gonna want that cowbell!”), and you’d have a pretty good idea of the swagger of this thing.

There is no shortage of 1970s-loving retro subgenre bands. Sweden seems to produce a disproportionate number of hippy bands, but it’s not just the Swedes that are cuckoo for the 1970s. The U.S.-Americans have so many psychedelic, stoner, doom, retro, whatever sub-subgenres that all we need now is for the bell bottoms to be the dominant style of blue jeans. The problem for many metal fans is that all those bands don’t want to be metal. It’s either hippy rock, folk rock, psychedelic rock, stoner rock, and it’s either too light, too slow, too spacey, too proggy. They don’t want to rock hard. All these objections do not apply to The Neptune Power Federation. This is 1970s heavy metal, what people called hard rock and heavy rock, and the music itself sounds made by people who do like metal music, and of course the 1970s early version.

One problem on the album is that they shoot themselves in the foot by using profanities in some songs. Usually, bands do this to be “edgy,” but all that it means is that you are limiting your potential customers. For instance, parents cannot play this music around the kids. Therefore, if you have young children, you cannot play this music in the car with the kids (the future fans) in it. You don’t think that there are metal parents who are looking for music to play for the kids? Don’t think some parents put old Scorpions and Judas Priest vinyl on the record player while the kids are playing in the living room?! You don’t think three and four-year-old kids are fans of Scorpions and Judas Priest? Newsflash: Some kids demand to hear Blackout over and over and over again. True story. Well, if the “great producer, the Bruce Dickinson” would have been in the studio with these Australians, he would have reminded them not shoot themselves in the foot. He would imparted words of wisdom, “I’m just like you. I put my pants one leg at a time. Except, after my pants are on, I make gold records.” Of course, if the cursing is no problem for your lonesome naughty self, then it’s time to rock and roll all nite and party every day. Rock on.

The Neptune Power Federation: Watch Our Masters Bleed [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

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