review: Child Bite/Ringworm

Child Bite/Ringworm

Split Hits the Fans V

Failure Records and Tapes

September 6, 2019

1.Child Bite - The Fool

2.Child Bite - The Creeper

3.Child Bite - The Masochist

4.Ringworm - I Hide In You

5.Ringworm - I'm Not Right

Child Bite and Ringworm have tied the knot for a split release. Oh, well, there goes the neighborhood! Just when things were starting to look nice in the neighborhood and the bad neighbors finally moved out, here come the punks. This is why we can’t have nice things around here, ya see! I have been driving around in my grandma’s AC-less minivan with the windows down because this stupid summer heat just won’t go away, but these punks have been making the heat more tolerable. When I listen to Child Bite and Ringworm in the minivan, my neighbors listen to Child Bite and Ringworm.

The Detroit rock city hardcore thumpers Child Bite do three quick songs about the importance of putting your dishes in the dishwasher directly after you eat so that your dad won’t be mad. The kitchen sink is not the dishwasher, ya know. Actually, they could be talking about good manners, but they probably are not because there’s far more important topics, like horror movies. The songs are hardcore in, hardcore out, and done. You get some groovy, sweaty punk tunes that don’t last longer than two minutes each, and in the process the band manages to be highly inappropriate and too obscene for anyone else besides that shady dude that you see every Saturday night at the bar always wearing his Dead Kennedys and old C.O.C. patches like a badge of honor.

The other side of this coin is the Buckeye State dirt-dwelling punks Ringworm. They turn in two songs that do not go beyond two minutes each. Ringworm is completely different from Child Bite. While Child Bite has yelling vocals, Ringworm has screaming vocals. Child Bite is obscene, Ringworm is obnoxious. Child Bite is a bunch of angry Michigan dudes, Ringworm is a collection of furious bad hombres from Ohio. See the difference there? It’s like the difference between the men without hats and the men at work.

Anyway, Child Bite and Ringworm had both promised to take some anger management classes, but it looks like they lied. Again. Nothing has changed. Please get them some help at 1-800-IRATE-2-MUCH or get them some anger management classes by calling eight six seven five three oh nine. failurerecords.bandcamp.com