Metal Bulletin Zine (est. 2006) is a metal music zine (Seattle region), online and on paper. 160 issues so far.
online pdfs available at www.fuglymaniacs.com
on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MetalBulletinZn
Wednesday, November 21, 2018
the return of Blood Etchings (by MMB)
In the Empire of Our Majesties William and Mary we have the pestilential threat of deceitful liars pretending to uphold the Faith in public while celebrating their Heresy in private. We must provide a solution to this plague.
The case in front of us is named Blood Etchings. The witchery magicians of Blood Etchings do not disguise their blasphemy. This is not Music that pleases Our Majesties, but a cacophony that reeks of the powers of evil and darkness.
Their new spell is self-titled and it was cast on the 13th of November of 2018. Truly the work of the Devil, they have the audacity to call their songs the most heinous and blasphemous names that anyone could ever imagine and that we shall not print here. Their work glorifies all forms of evil and will result in the people of the lands of Seattle to engage in evil like drunkenness, driving drunk, engaging in pistol fighting in bars, fornication, adultery, obscenities in abundance, violence of many forms, witchcraft, devil worshipping, crimes, pyromania, piracy, pillaging, pedophilia, kidnapping, animal sacrifice, witchery, and the celebration of legal murder in the streets of Seattle.
Our Majesties William and Mary will not tolerate this manifestation of black metal evil to corrupt the souls of Seattle.
By Order of this Court I command the authorities to drown this horrendous blasphemy. The wages of sin is death and the evil men of Blood Etchings and all of their unholy disciples must know that our sword will meet their heads at their neck. Our guillotines will quench their thirst with the blood of Blood Etchings.
Now that we have these men captured and under our power we must execute them swiftly in front of the whole city of Seattle so that every single soul can see how the Province of Massachusetts Bay upholds the Law of the Empire.
Take these men and whip them 666 times. Then impale them and then have them hung, drawn and quartered, and finally burn their corpses in a glorious fire, and let the fire remain for seven days continuously in honor of Our King and Queen.
After that, proceed to find any supporter of this blasphemy and have them suffer the same fate as their idols. Never let anyone find out how to procure the evil cacophony of the black metal of Blood Etchings.
This, I order in the name Our Majesties William and Mary.
Chief Magistrate of the Special Court of Oyer and Terminer
Chief Justice of the Superior Court of Judicature
Lieutenant Governor of the Province of Massachusetts Bay