Oh, snap, here's another super slow one: CULTED Oblique To All Paths (Relapse Records)

Oh, snap, here's another super slow one: CULTED Oblique To All Paths (Relapse Records)

What is it with these bands? They are all trying to play slower than everybody else and it's a competition that's going directly into the abyss. They want you depressed.

I told you that Lumbar plays slow music. OK, well, Culted is actually slower, if you can believe it. Black Sabbath sounds like speed metal compared to these songs!

No happy. No fun. No melody. No rock.

Only slow. Only slug. Only depressed. Only lonely. Only darkness. Only abyss.

Slayer sounds so happy compared to this. So happy. So very happy. Oh, Slayer, the happy band.

www.facebook.com/Culted