review: NOCTU

Noctu

Gelidae Mortis Imago

Transcending Obscurity Records

15 May 2020

One hour and 14 minutes of the impossibly slowest music that you could imagine, a mechanism of sorts for the impression that time can almost stand still. That’s 74 minutes of time slowing down big time. You have to have the time, and you have to be willing to give this album the time necessary. There is no instant gratification. Yes, this is a one-trick pony. Yes, this is a one-dimensional ride into the valleys, and lower valleys, and the caves and the caverns of this deserted, uninhabited, grey and cloudy terrain. Do you know Chopin’s “Funeral March”? You probably know it, even if you think you have never heard it, given that it is so famous. Anyway, that work is considered an exemplary piece of supremely sad music, as the name suggests. Well, this album takes that idea, and makes it way, way, way longer, squeezes out every ounce of misery possible with lots of slow, somber keyboards, and the sparse use of guitars for slow melodies, and with distant, non-menacing growls that seem to be coming from the cave over yonder, past that hill over there, a few miles from where you are standing.

Let’s say that you and funeral doom have never gone further than a first date. Funeral doom gave you its phone number, but you never called back. Funeral doom is not giving up on you. It wants another chance with you. If you have been waiting for the perfect time and a good album to dig in and finally meet up again with funeral doom, this is a great opportunity to throw caution to the wind and take the leap. Here’s why. There is melody in this darned thing! Yes, you’re right, you got it, this is very slow, and this music does make normal doom music sound like the joy of One Direction, but if you take your daily sedative along with this funeral doom, I’m telling you, good friend, this can make sense. Just hang on, summon your patience, fight your attention deficit instincts, and if you drag yourself through the mud and rain of this boot camp of funeral doom, you might end up not regretting your decision to listen to this. You will be able to tell all your family and friends that you graduated with honors from the Italian University of Funeral Doom. noctuitaly.bandcamp.com